aurabble | IC Inbox ☽☽ genessia

You could just say don't get murdered. Then it would apply to even more people! [He steals a pepperoni off of a different slice to put on his.] I think they're using their own kind of magic to do it. They have a priest in charge who knows how, so if we kill the priest, we stop the soul sucking.

Yeah but then it's not specific to our situation and I wouldn't bother saying it.

[ She slaps his hand. Just to knock it out so that she can grab it if he drops it. She goes for direct-to-mouth though. ]

Okay, how do they recruit new people?

Why not? It fits a lot of situation-- Hey!

[His pepperoni! Just for that he's going to reach for her slice.]

Like followers? I guess the same way any club does. They catch you after a hard day of blacksmithing and are like 'hey, want to join our arcane club and learn some sword magic?' and they hand you a fancy piece of paper and you're like this looks legitimate, then when you get there everything seems fine until the floor opens up to a pit of fire and you're told you're now either one of them or you're dead. Normal stuff.

[ Whatever, take it. There's a whole pizza, she'll grab another one if you wanna eat the one she already grabbed whatever. ]

What did they teach you at Beacon? Do you have no idea how to infiltrate anything?

I'm not you, Emerald. I don't just walk in wearing an incredible skirt and charm my way into their lives until one moment they're gossiping to me about Tina in HR and the next I have them--

...You know. I'm not subtle like you are. And a few fake papers and a flashy name aren't going to get us into this one. [He's a lot more focused on his pizza now.]

Neither was I when I started off. It took practice. Do you know how hard it is to get someone to believe that you genuinely care when you know nothing they're ever going to feel toward you is anything but a reflection of what they want from someone?

[ Mercury's pretty much the first and only person to genuinely care about her, anyway. Cassian... she's sure he cares about her on some level, but if she were to live truly to herself, she knows he'd turn away. Oh well. Emerald kind of stares out the window as she takes a bite of her pizza. She doesn't expect Jaune to have any idea what that's like. He's always surrounded by his idiot friends. ]

[He's quiet for a moment, staring at his drink, tracing his fingers along the glass.]

And as soon as you challenge that, as soon as you're no longer what they want, or think they want...or they find someone better at it, it's like it never happened. Like it never mattered, you never mattered.

Or am I off the mark? [He's not looking at her.]

Yes, but no too.

[ She's not going to say she 100% gets what he's talking about. She doesn't. ]

I never mattered to anyone other than Cinder. Not without caveats- Cassian likes to say he likes me, but he wouldn't if I didn't hold back. Johnny likes me, but that's because he doesn't know anything about me. [ A brief moment before she adds. ] Mercury does, but.. [ She won't get into that. The insecurity she feels because Yang is in his life now, because he actually gives a shit about someone other than her, even if she doesn't want him like she does. The fact that his partner is now Garrus, not her, and he never even asked if she wanted to be a deputy or work with him. He doesn't need her, even if he likes her- even if they're friends, if she won't abandon him whether he's good or evil or anything in between. No one ever needs her, and she knows she should just be happy being actually wanted by someone- it's more than she's ever had, but it still feels like she's being left behind as he finds new ways to move forward and she...

But that's a little more raw than she wants to get with Jaune, so she just pipes up with a vaguer answer. ]

It's more like.. you finally let your guard down, be yourself, and you're either reviled for it, told to change who you are, or when you finally think you have someone who gives a damn regardless, they're looking at something or someone else and leaving you behind.

[ But similar to what Jaune said. Similar enough that she felt like continuing instead of just changing the subject. ]

[He just listens. He doesn't interrupt or comment, not until she's done, and even then he doesn't respond immediately.]

I thought I mattered to Pyrrha. Maybe I did, at first, maybe not, I don't... I don't know. But ever since I got here, ever since Battler, I'm not the same person. Before she left the first time, she didn't even know how to deal with it. With me. Not anymore. And she was the person who I thought would always have my back. Even if I didn't like her the way she wanted me to. I'm not sure if it's better that she pretends I don't exist now or not. Nora likes to pretend everything's okay and I guess whatever as long as she's happy. And then Weiss and Sun-- [His smile doesn't reach his eyes.] Mercury and Yang, who haven't even known eachother that long, it's all--

It's stupid. No one wants me around until they want something. I'm not saying it's exactly the same as what you're going through. No one's ever...I've never had the type of relationship you had with Cinder. And people have given me more chances than I deserve, but everyone acting like they have some right to judge you, or leave you behind, it's stupid. It sucks.

Edited 2017-12-14 15:21 (UTC)

It feels like everyone's found something that you'll never even get the chance to understand.

[ She shakes her head. Getting into a conversation about Cinder and her relationship, her doubts, Mercury's insistence that she give up on her, Cassian's dislike for a woman she's never met based on what Emerald's said... It's complicated. It's better not to get into. ]

There were a couple of times, I thought I might really try with David. He's horrendous to stick around, vomit-inducingly positive, but he doesn't seem to judge me no matter what I do, even when things slip through the cracks... I murdered a banshee in front of him and he doesn't seem to have a problem with me despite that he's a chicken when it comes to horror movies. But I really don't think he could handle it if he knew me. Part of me thinks he'd just assume the best case scenario about any details I left out, or assume I was lying to try to push him away for whatever reason. It's not real, and I can't really handle him for long periods of time. I definitely don't love him, but that doesn't matter. It's gross but I kind of get why Mercury used to get with all those girls now because of David. It isn't real, but it's nice to feel like someone wants you around for something even for a minute when you know no one really does. Not more than anyone else. [ That's probably why she's taking so long with this, even if she gets constantly annoyed having to put up with all his happy. ]

I'm actually surprised David hasn't made you go insane yet. [His eyes darken when she describes the chance. He'll never have it. So why should he care anymore?]

I think I can understand why Mercury would do that. Not that I've had any luck, but... It just sounds like it would be cool to just uhm...you know. H-- [He averts his eyes oh god is he blushing in front of Emerald?] Make love and stuff without the love. [Okay you know what he's just going to toy with his glass.] Everyone seems to think that they like you when they don't even know you, they say all these nice things, but I wish they would just be honest for once. It hurts a lot less.

[ Emerald watches him, just polishing off a slice of pizza in silence as he gets all embarrassed. ]

That's funny, saying that to the best liar you know. [ She has a really dumb idea, but honestly.. This isn't the place to say it. She isn't even sure she wants to say it. Jaune gets stuff though, and it isn't like anyone would believe him if he told anyone they talked or did anything besides insult him and eat. ]

Yeah, but...

[He bites into another slice before he can get too flustered.] Somehow you've always been honest to me for a while. At least I think you have.

Do you want to have sex?

[ It's entirely possible she intentionally waited until he was eating to ask that. She's not even sure if she wants him to answer positively, but what's it going to hurt? He doesn't have to know she's a virgin too, but if they're both just... In agreement that they have enough respect not to be a creep about it and they aren't going to pretend there are feelings involved.. what's it going to hurt to ask?

Besides Jaune's breathing and dignity. ]

[He's choking on a pepperoni. He wonders if he heard her right or if he's just delirious from too much mountain dew and then he remembers. Breathing. Breathing's important.

He coughs until he feels like he can breathe again, red-faced and voice a little scratchy. He sounds incredibly unsure, as if he' not sure it was just wishful thinking, or did she really ask him?]

Sex as in? I mean yes. I want to have sex. It sounds...great.

[ Emerald doesn't quite know where she's going with this. She doesn't do stuff like this, it's just annoying that they're the only people who don't ever seem to mean anything real to someone. It just might be nice to feel good for once, even if it was only physical. Just to see if it fills that gaping sense of emptiness.

And it's teasing proof because no one would believe it happened. ]

I'll think about it if you promise not to be a freak about it.

[He's just absolutely caught off guard. The last time he had mentioned anything like what Emerald was suggesting, he had been treated like someone selfish and shallow. When it was because no one would accept him, or want him for anything more than what made them as happy as possible and as quickly as possible, had he stopped caring. Maybe it was selfish, but you know what? He was allowed to be selfish too. And if it could make them both happy, even for a short while...

But now that Emerald has stated it aloud, it's become more real. He tries to hide his nervous excitement, not wanting to be a "freak" like she just warned him.]

I promise. It's just...it's just for fun, right? Because we can. If we do end up doing this, I mean if you decide you want to, do you want us to rent a hotel room or something? [He could pay, pick somewhere nice. Whatever would make this less complicated for them.]

If it was more it wouldn't be happening. We're not really close so there won't be any emotional issues, and you've never tried to take advantage of me. You're not bad to look at. I don't want to be your girlfriend or anything, but if I'm going to try it, might as well be with someone who kind of gets it.

[ Talking about this is dumb. In fact. ] I have my own room, Merc and I moved. I'm not living on the couch anymore. My other rules is that you don't go around telling people about whatever happens. You can say it happened but don't like.. no details. That's no one's business. I'll really kill you if someone finds out anything they shouldn't.

You really think I'm not bad to look at? I mean-- I think I understand. Kind of. Can't hurt to try, right? It's just sex or whatever.

[It's awkward af.] Believe it or not, sometimes I can keep a secret. It's none of their business anyway.

No, I just offered to have sex with you because I don't think I could ever find you attractive and the idea of dry, crappy friction that I'm not into is just super appealing. [ yes Jaune you're hot dumbass. ]

Good. Want to get the pizza to go?

[He makes a face before it adds up.] Well I'm not about to argue.

Sure. Don't want to waste a perfectly good pizza.

I was just figuring you'd have some kind of weird fetish like you wanted me to feed you while I'm on top. Or.. you're on top. You should probably be on top for your first time?

[ Look she doesn't really know how this goes, as much as she's trying to pretend she does. So she's just going to go grab a box from the counter while the guy's in the back and load their pizza up while they talk. ]

I don't have a weird fetish! ...Were you really trying to be nice to me? I thought we could eat it after we...top and not top. I'm on top.

[He trusts Emerald more than he trusts himself, mostly because he's a complete loser and Emerald isn't.]

You're telling me you can stand here and imagine me on top of you, eating a slice of pizza, isn't turning you on?

[ She really thought that would for some reason. Like legitimately thought that would be his thing somehow. Maybe she shouldn't be getting into this. This is probably going to be a mess, and if Mercury found out she would literally never live it down.

And yet, she still wanted to do it, despite her anxiety. Emerald got a surprising amount of anxiety about a lot of things, enough to know better than to listen to it. (Or at least to be better at listening to someone else when they told her it wasn't her place to worry about it.)

Pizza is packed up, she holds it out to Jaune (he should carry it), and she starts heading toward the nearest WaysPoint. ]

Okay well when you put it that way, no.

Actually it does. It does a lot caaan we stop talking about that now when we're nowhere near a bed?

[Jaune's more of the type of person to try and encourage people to abate their anxiety, rather than tell them what to worry about. Not that he would guess Emerald has much anxiety right now. She at least seems more confident than him.

He takes the box like a gentleman and follows her out.]

IC Inbox ☽☽ genessia

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject