aurabble | IC Inbox ☽☽ genessia

Because-- [he stops. he almost raised his voice. he looks to the side, regaining his composure. the last thing dave needs is for him to sound upset, even if it's out of concern and not anger. he only makes a second attempt once he calms down a little.] Because you matter. You deserve to feel safe, not scared, and it's not pussying out and I know that's easier said than done and you can't just turn off a switch and make it better, maybe it's not specifically toward me, but... I'm just-- sorry. I'll try not to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. [raises his eyebrows.] Huh? Why? How come you know more about pot than me?

[somewhat smug grin.] A warrior's wolf tail. Right Kitkat?

[nodding, he looks back outside in the hall to grab the guitar.]

[ dave's frowning again. jaune's being really concerned about him. dave is a little confused about it. he makes a face, more at himself than anything else. one of discomfort. ] Is uh... unprompted flinching a big deal? You're making me think this is a serious thing now. [ shrugging ] Rap. I've been educated.

[ there's a drawn out meow from kitkat in response. dave raises an eyebrow ] A what?

Guess we're doing this fucking now then, huh?

[jaune isn't staring at him in sympathy. it's more like he's concerned, and almost empathetic but not quite.] Maybe we should sit down. The pot brownies can wait.

You know, it's a... [he makes a sweeping gesture at his hair.] It's where you pull the top layers back and leave the rest down or short so you look like a warrior. A warrior's wolf tail. [nods at kitkat in understanding.]

Did you think we were going to wait?

Edited 2017-02-19 00:46 (UTC)

[ he's blankly looking at him for a long moment, then shrugs. ] Okay. I'm, like, already sitting. Do we need to have me sit down better? Is there a proper method of sitting for this serious talk? Wait, shit. I should do the Karkat deep concern sit. [ he gets up, turns the chair around and sits in it backwards ] ...Okay. This isn't going to work as smoothly. The back of the chair is taller than where my head is. He'd be all leaning an arm on the top of this with his head propped up. You get the visual. Let's pretend I'm all sat down like that for this serious discussion. [ gets up and sits in in normally. sort of. after a second he crosses his legs on the chair and leans on his knees, holding his head up ] 'Aight. I got a compromised version.

What like when assholes have a mohawk but instead of actually committing to sticking it up they pussy out and tie it back?

Maybe. Apparently pot brownies can wait but we just can't stop the music, can we?

I-- [nevermind he's already doing it. jaune kind of rolls his eyes. he wants to tell dave to stop stalling, but he stops himself and waits until he's done and sits back on the floor with kitkat.] Okay. Uhm. [wow his sock sure is getting worn he probably needs new socks damn these socks are fascinating.] Bro, you know I'm only saying this because I care. Sometimes I feel like...when we go through certain things, especially when we do over and over, we have to-- I don't know. We have to find ways to deal with it because if we don't we don't know if we'll ever be normal again. But things aren't ever exactly normal after that. It's still there. So, I just, if I can do anything to help, I want to.

[he grimaces.] No, that's a completely different concept. I've never had a mohawk.

I guess we can put it off for five minutes...

[ dave sits there, facing him straight on. attentive but his head dips a little and it could be easily to think he's following the cat with his eyes instead. it's hard to tell but he's still looking at jaune. the hand not being used to hold his head up is gripping part of the chair. ] Uh. Okay? Are you saying I'm broken or something? Way to just call me abnormal. Great talk. I appreciate the help offer.

[ distraction and better topic: mohawks and music. ] I can't really picture you with one.

Or not. Play me a beat.

[his head snaps up and before he can stop himself, his eyes are already round in fear. what did he say wrong? was it normal? was it something else? his words come out a rushed jumble to try and fix the mess he made. it's always a mess.

all he ever does is screw up.] That's not what I--

[he's not really listening, running a hand through his hair in agitation.] Damnit Dave, I don't know what to say! You know that's not what I meant. You asked me if it was a big deal, it is, but not in the way you think and I don't want you to feel bad and push me away for it but you're doing that anyway and I--

[he just...stares vacantly past dave for a moment, almost like he's staring through him. his expression seems to shut down and his voice goes dull and defeated, with no inflection.] Ignore everything I said. I screwed up. I was being stupid.

[ he picks his head up slowly and sits up again, hands holding the edge of the chair. ]

Dude. Sorry if I'm not getting it. I've never had an intervention before. [ it's an intentionally casual tone that doesn't sound as apologetic as he is for making Jaune feel bad about this. if it's dismissive, they can move on right? no. that's not what's happening.

jaune's looking through him and it's blank. that unreadable blankness. dull tone's with no inflection and something he can't pick an emotion out of. it makes him want to crawl in a hole and puts everything on edge the longer he does it. ]

Oohhhh. I fucked up. I fucked this up. You're saying you fucked up but you just went- [ waves one of his hands in front of his own face ] I am not dealing with that shit again. Okay. No. Lay it on me. I'm listening. I'll stop brushing it off. It's not stupid I'm just being a fucking dick because I don't want to talk about deep seated issues and holy shit can you at least frown at me?

[he's not leaving.

dave's rambling nervously and jaune feels like he's watching somewhere he's detached from the scene, but dave isn't leaving. despite how many time jaune's screwed up and how much right dave has to leave, he's still there.

his response is a little delayed because all he can think of is that some of his worst fears aren't repeating right now and despite the fact that dave deserves better and people who understand and don't make him feel like shit he's still trying. he doesn't have to shut down. is he closing off to protect everyone else or just himself?]

I don't-- I'm not sure I know what you mean.

[he's looking at him now. he's being careful and hesitant with his wording, but there's emotion, even if it's fear.]

I need like some kind of repertoire here. I don't know where you went just now and you're freaking me the fuck out. And uh- like okay I guess what the issue is you're trying to address is that I have subconsciously prepped myself to be ready to take a fucking hit at any given point in time from anyone and I know that's all kinds of fucked up and -- Are you still? And uh- [ jaune's zoning out on him so dave keeps going. that rambling he does but it's clearly on edge now. increasingly nervous and he's looking at jaune and then looking everywhere but at jaune.

then looking back and looking away like he can't keep his eyes on someone that's looking so ...detached. jaune speaks up and he shuts his mouth and puts on an impassive look, trying to pretend. ]

Dude. Are you okay?

[he purses his lips, a frown beginning to linger the more nervous dave gets. he doesn't understand why dave is so disturbed, only that he is, but that doesn't stand out so much to him as the fact that he's used to being hit. and then dave just shuts down before he can even register what he just admitted. his mind is racing and he feels like everything just got too tangible at once. his reply comes out more harsh than he intended.]

Don't worry about me. Wait. Hang on. Are you basically saying you're constantly on edge so that if you do get hurt it can't catch you off guard?

I'm going to worry about you. You just clocked the fuck out on me, pun not intended and- ...What? No. I- [ he looks alarmed jaune's asking that. and a little alarmed he implied it. and that's it's probably a true statement. layers of alarmed. ] Maybe.

And? I don't really want to talk about it and that's not even the point. [there's an edge to his voice now. it's not upset toward dave but the whole situation and whoever made him feel this way. he crosses his arms, shoulders stiff.] In other words, yes. Look, Dave. All I meant was...when you flinch, it reminds me of some things, and I don't want to mess up and make you push me away. But I guess I already did that. You're not-- You're not broken.

[ it doesn't take long for him to put that shocked look of his away. he settles on something serious. and keeps his tone level, if somewhat demanding. ] Oh, hell no. Fuck that. If we're talking about my shit, you're bringing yours in too. This is going to be a proper fucking feelings jam or no further feelings of mine are coming out. We're going to be pale as fuck about this and have some hella mutual support going. [ he crosses his arms right back. giving him a level look ]

Did you? When? 'Cause I'm apparently not fucking aware of this. Do I look pushed away to you, asshole? [ an exhale of breath. a small frown. ] I kind of am though. And sorry for reminding you of anything. Totally don't wanna do that.

[his eyes widen incredulously. good job on getting him to show some emotion, dave. he even scoffs a little.] Excuse you, you can't hold your own feelings hostage by demanding me to show mine. Or is it the other way around? You know what? Nevermind. Don't be stubborn.

Just then! [gestures at the wall, as if to illustrate his point. he slumps and ends up frowning sadly.] Don't be sorry. I just worry about you.

I can do that and I'm doing it right fucking now, you piece of shit. I'll be as stubborn as a want. [ he only unfolds his arms to pull his hood over his head. they're refolded a second later. ]

When? I'm still not recalling. [ sinking his chin down ] Okay.

Don't you think that's kind of a low blow? I'm not the one constantly deflecting everything with dick jokes and sick rap lines. [makes a face at that. he's personally offended.]

When I said the wrong fucking thing and you got all closed off because I can't say something nice without insulting someone or making them want to run off or dating their paperwork instead of me should I shut up I should probably shut up I'm not making things better I'm making things worse. Okay. I'll stop talking.

Bitch, you don't even answer half my questions. You just breeze over them when they're personal and pretend they don't exist. [ dave's not offended. his rap lines ARE sick. ]

Chill the fuck out, Jaune. I'm not closed off because you said anything wrong. And also what? I thought Weiss was dating the denim furry with the abs?

[stops. stares and makes some annoyed noises.] Since when did you become the Compost King?

But you just said it. I screwed up and implied you weren't normal and-- Oh no, nope do not bring Sun Fucking Whatshislastname into this with his whole creepy fruit fetish and inability to wear anything but three year old jeans but-- [he raises his pitch like he's trying to talk high and imitate weiss.] It's okay if Sun Sun dresses like a slob because he draws on his abs! I'm Sun, I take the best person in the world for granted and I think my business puns are funny!

[spreads his arms. he stood up at some point and was pacing. he stops when he realizes what he's doing and lets his arms drop to his sides.]

Edited 2017-02-19 06:58 (UTC)

Are you calling me a trash king? [ that's pretty funny, actually. too bad he's not in the mood to even crack a half-assed smirk at it. he keeps his brows raised and cocks his head to the side a bit. ]

Wow. [ can those brows go any higher now? probably not. dave's sitting there staring at him ] A Weiss impression wasn't the projected trajectory of this feelings jam but okay. So. Listen. I don't care. You can call me as abnormal as you want. It's not like it isn't true. What the fuck fruit does he have a fetish for? Do you think he's into that weird fourplay where you cover your lover in fucking strawberries or something? Just seems like a fucking mess.

No, I'm saying you're full of shit. [that's fine. he's not in the mood either. everything from the way he glances at him to how he folds his arms screams he's barely holding it together.]

[he blinks at him a few times, baffled by what just happened and sighs, running a hand through his hair.] Well ex-fucking-scuse me Dave for being a disappointment at literally everything including feelings jams I didn't ask to be apart of. I wasn't calling you abnormal! I-- I don't know! This might come as a shock to you, but normally I try not to spend a lot of time thinking about how Sun might romance Weiss Schnee.

You're full of fucking bullshit. [ dave seems collected for the most part. but he's digging his fingers into his arms while they're folded ]

[ he furrows his brows at him. wrinkles his nose. ] Stop acting like you're this huge fucking burden on my life. I never acted that way. You're being a pain in the ass right now for no god damn reason but I'm not calling you a let down or anything. What the fuck, man? You totally were. You sat me down and pointed out something I was doing freaked you out like I was being hella fucking weird and it was a major concern. Fucking good you shouldn't.

You-- [scowling, he catches the small movement and looks down at his fingers. he sighs and starts to put his hands at his hips, but stops and gets defensive again when dave keeps talking.]

Sorry if I'm such a pain in the ass. You and everyone else thinks that. You weren't being weird, you were-- Look. I don't know. I'm not an expert at any of this, and I'm not a professional, and I'm honestly terrified you're going to tell me to go away and go all iceolated on my lonely throne on me or, or use your time to get away and I know you won't because that's not you, but if anyone can make you do it it's me and Jeff hardly ever opens up and I--

[stops. his voice cracks and he's hugging himself now more than folding his arms.] Can we just stop? Please?

[ dave huffs, leans back in the chair and starts sinking down in it - until he's hunched over completely in it with his legs hanging off. arms still folded. pouting now and looking over his shades at him because his chin is tipped down ]

Yeah, okay. We can stop. You got like no fucking confidence that maybe I actually might keep liking you later. You need some people with patience, bro. I don't really do the whole angsty teenage "leave me alone stop ruining my life" thing. I think you'd literally have to stab me in the heart for me to want to remove myself from the vicinity on a permanent basis, just F-Y-I.

[he avoids his eyes, sinking against the desk to the floor, one knee perched up while his left leg stays flat. he keeps looking down.]

I think you're patient. And I'm not going to stab you, ever. I'm pretty sure you're too patient if that's where you draw the line but that's just my opinion and it's not a very reliable one. [Lengthy pause.] I'm sorry.

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