You still get to exist! You can exist, and think for yourself. You have more of a chance than any of us, than Pyrrha ever did.
[The unshed tears in his eyes seem to make them brighten. He has some idea of what he's doing right now. Caster doesn't deserve to deal with his anger, or to hear such cruel words. He's scared, lost, and the only answer that doesn't end in more tragedy and lost lives would entail him having to accept what happened. He feels trapped. It's harder to formulate the right words, and he just stares at Caster, but not really at her so much as through her, finally snapping when she mentions Pyrrha again.]
I'm a failure! [His throat feels raw, his voice higher as he gestures to himself.]
Pyrrha knows that I'm just a failure. All I ever did was rely on her, hoping it would pay off and I could be the person I thought she believed in. But she didn't. She chose to push me away. I didn't get the chance to protect her and fight by her side.
[He glances up at the sky, screwing his eyes shut. His emotions are a storm, threatening to overwhelm him one moment and then fading into nothing. He just sounds tired.] This is all I have. I didn't earn my way to Beacon. If someone else had been her partner, things probably would have turned out differently. It's all my fault-- I have to fix it.
[At the admission of failure, her shoulders slump, like the cord holding her anger together just snapped. Her anger dissipates, replaced with... Not despair, exactly. Lamentation, sympathy, regret.]
Then as one failure to another, will you not heed my advice? I have led everyone I have loved to their deaths, but yours wished to save you. That is something to honor.
... And if all it is is amends, then you should be asking her what she wants. If nothing else, you have been given this time to do whatever you wish with. If you wish to woo her, that is your right. If you wish to ignore her to seek other paths, then I won't help you, but you are allowed.
Or you could train with her, instead. Perhaps if she becomes stronger here, she can overcome whatever killed her. Perhaps if you tell her her fate, she can avoid it. Perhaps if you become stronger here, you can go back with her and do something.
[His voice is small, all the frustration he's felt directed inward. He just sounds defeated. He can't meet her eyes, focusing on the ground and hugging his arm again.]
Weiss said the same thing. It's not... She deserves better. What I want doesn't matter.
[He's silent for a moment. It still takes a lot of effort to talk about what happened.] I think part of her already figured it out. We're almost from the same time. [Finally he does meet her eyes, hesitant and scared asking will lead to the same answers.] Would that work if we asked Crepe to help?
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[The unshed tears in his eyes seem to make them brighten. He has some idea of what he's doing right now. Caster doesn't deserve to deal with his anger, or to hear such cruel words. He's scared, lost, and the only answer that doesn't end in more tragedy and lost lives would entail him having to accept what happened. He feels trapped. It's harder to formulate the right words, and he just stares at Caster, but not really at her so much as through her, finally snapping when she mentions Pyrrha again.]
I'm a failure! [His throat feels raw, his voice higher as he gestures to himself.]
Pyrrha knows that I'm just a failure. All I ever did was rely on her, hoping it would pay off and I could be the person I thought she believed in. But she didn't. She chose to push me away. I didn't get the chance to protect her and fight by her side.
[He glances up at the sky, screwing his eyes shut. His emotions are a storm, threatening to overwhelm him one moment and then fading into nothing. He just sounds tired.] This is all I have. I didn't earn my way to Beacon. If someone else had been her partner, things probably would have turned out differently. It's all my fault-- I have to fix it.
no subject
Then as one failure to another, will you not heed my advice? I have led everyone I have loved to their deaths, but yours wished to save you. That is something to honor.
... And if all it is is amends, then you should be asking her what she wants. If nothing else, you have been given this time to do whatever you wish with. If you wish to woo her, that is your right. If you wish to ignore her to seek other paths, then I won't help you, but you are allowed.
Or you could train with her, instead. Perhaps if she becomes stronger here, she can overcome whatever killed her. Perhaps if you tell her her fate, she can avoid it. Perhaps if you become stronger here, you can go back with her and do something.
no subject
[His voice is small, all the frustration he's felt directed inward. He just sounds defeated. He can't meet her eyes, focusing on the ground and hugging his arm again.]
Weiss said the same thing. It's not... She deserves better. What I want doesn't matter.
[He's silent for a moment. It still takes a lot of effort to talk about what happened.] I think part of her already figured it out. We're almost from the same time. [Finally he does meet her eyes, hesitant and scared asking will lead to the same answers.] Would that work if we asked Crepe to help?
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[Caster doesn't believe a fucking word of it, though.]
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Why can't she control them? Maybe if they would stop treating us like we're less important, we could help her train to control them.
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[She's about to comment on how the books said dangerous, out of control powers usually got their owners executed, but probably a bad idea.]
Crepe's library has more information.
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[He pauses, looking uncertain.]
Or I can, if you don't want to. [He was just a jerk.]
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I've read everything relevant in there already. And taking some time to read and cool your head would likely do wonders for you.
no subject
I understand.