IC Inbox ☽☽ genessia

[aurabble]

"Hi,  Jaune Arc here!  ...Except that, I'm actually not here right now.  Or  maybe I am and I just re-discovered decent comic books but I mean, I'm  probably not ignoring you.  So leave me a message.  Unless you were  trying to call someone else.  Then you should call them.  Smiley face."

voice, text, or still photo beautiful inbox header made by makelove

Comments

[whiteas]

I am getting help. I don't think I could've said I want to forgive you otherwise considering our relationship has continually been a struggle of me saying no and you either ignoring me or pretending to respond appropriately while not changing your attitude internally.

Nothing ever works out the way you want it to, but when you stop trying that's when you've given up on your own happiness and that's not healthy. I never thought I'd actually be saying that I want to stay here over going home and not because I have anxiety about what's back there but because I feel like that isn't me anymore. The person who exists here, this Weiss? I only exist here. Maybe I'll die tomorrow, but I'm not going to keep living my life as if the morning doesn't matter. It does. This life does matter to me, no matter what I've lost or what mistakes I've made. There's a lot I've gained that I wouldn't have back home. I've grown in ways I never possibly could have and I've built relationships with people that anyone back in Remnant would look at me like I'm insane for having.

I'm a leader. I may not be a singer here anymore, but I make music. I'm independent. I can take care of myself and I actually have a place and people I consider home. I've worked so hard and made my mark on this world in ways that I hope will be remembered long after I'm gone. For the first time in a long time, I feel confident in myself and what I'm doing. I've felt happy recently.

Don't tell me you won't seek help because of something you think I haven't done. You don't get to put the fact that you won't get help on me.

[aurabble]

You probably don't want to hear this, but since I've gotten here you've been the one constant in everything else that's gone wrong or that I've lost.

Pyrrha left once. She's back here and I'm not sure if that's better or worse, but she isn't here in the same way...everyone else is. And you've changed and we've both been damaged in ways that can't be fixed, but you're still here. It's not the only reason but I think that's part of why I haven't gotten over you. I'm not saying it's healthy or okay. I just wanted you to know it's part of why. I've tied so much of my life into our friendship. What I do to pay the bills, who I choose to talk to, how I choose to fight.

I'm glad you're better off here but I'm not sure if I am. It's kind of hard to judge considering the state of our world there and everything going on here. I have a family that I love here that I can't imagine losing. But as for why I do anything? I don't know anymore. I never thought this far ahead. I didn't even think I'd make it to this point. Everyone else is finding something and I thought I did but maybe it was just another form of shielding myself from the truth.

I think I need to be alone, and I need to do something drastic, until I figure it out. When everyone was split, that side of me made me realize that I'm not as good a person as I pretend to be. As you thought I was before you found out. I'm sorry about what I said and getting defensive. You've done too much for me so I need to start doing more myself, but for myself, because it's not fair to you.

[whiteas]

Do what you have to do then. Let me know when you've figured yourself out and then maybe we can work on repairing our friendship.

[aurabble]

One second you said you were willing to try and now you make it sound like you probably won't.

Which is it, Weiss? I know I don't deserve a second chance, or third, but I need to know.

[whiteas]

I literally just agreed with you that you should do what you have to do and then when you get back, we can work on it! It's the same as it was before, except now I'm asking that you solve your issues before constantly blaming me for them. I've been here since the beginning for everyone from our world except for Sun. Somehow they don't have the same problems detaching themselves from me. So forgive me if your reasoning that I helped you and tried to be friends with you despite everything isn't acceptable to me as a reason for why you can't get help.

[aurabble]

Constantly blaming you. I haven't blamed you for anything since I got the antidote. I've been dating. I almost felt like a normal person. I'm screwed up Weiss, I get it, I get that you think that but I said I was sorry and I said I was going to get help so was there anything else you wanted?

I'm trying. I don't know what else to do except maybe just stay away altogether. I'll do that if you want to but I need to know.

[whiteas]

Okay, you didn't blame me, but you accredited my presence and actions to why you don't need to seek professional help and why you can't get over me.

But that's beside the point right now. If you're going to get help, maybe we should just.. spend a little less time together. Once you figure out what you need to figure out, then we'll see about rebuilding our friendship. Until then.. well, let's try to start as coworkers.

[aurabble]

Sure, Weiss.