aurabble | IC Inbox ☽☽ genessia

[In a way, Jaune needed someone to just be honest with him. Weiss always was, but she was a friend, and he couldn't depend on her that way. Lately, many adults treated him like a joke, like his experiences weren't valid. As if he hadn't been murdered and had friends murdered as well. He had Blaine too, but the way he helped was different. Blaine didn't act concerned when he drank and Jaune needed that as well. He was better off than a lot of students at Beacon regarding his parents, but even they tended to gloss over his ideas and thoughts. He couldn't remember actually being seriously scolded. Not like he was a nuisance, but like Jefferson was worried. He didn't know how to deal with it, but it was proof Jefferson cared. That meant more to him than he could articulate.

He didn't feel like he had to act a certain way to anyone anymore but when it came to hurting the people important to him, he just ended up feeling worse. His hands tightened as he started to pull away; it was an unconscious reaction out of fear that he didn't notice.]

[He listened, his eyes still red from crying, anxious and a little incredulous. He wasn't sure if he had a good heart--or if having one mattered much if it couldn't protect others. But he knew Jefferson had a good heart and that he meant what he said. He wasn't invincible or perfect but he respected him because he was always honest and owned up to his faults.] ...The same goes for you. Not the father part. The privileged part. I know I say stupid things sometimes, but I mean what I said. Maybe that isn't fair, but I hope you can believe that. I don't...I don't want to be isolated.

[ Just because he'd moved a bit it didn't mean he was going to let go of Jaune anytime soon. Jefferson had never been very good with giving people personal space to begin with, but after ages and ages of no one to have contact with he couldn't help but show affection and offer comfort in that way. He wasn't completely sure if Jaune's physical reaction was because he wanted him to let go or because he didn't want him to, but he made the choice to keep things as they were for that moment.

They likely both looked a bit like messes, but the emotion on Jaune's face invoked even more sympathy from Jefferson. He didn't have to verbalize his doubts and worries, because he knew they existed. Plenty of those two things was another thing they held in common. ]

Luckily for you I say stupid things all the time.

[ He smiled gently, reassuringly, as he squeezed one of his arms. ]

I can believe just about anything, Jaune. As for being isolated... as long as you'll let me I'll do whatever I can to be sure that doesn't happen. Alright?

Stop trying to one-up me. [He admonished quietly. It was a sad attempt to fall back on normal humor, but Jefferson was right: They both looked like messes. He didn't like crying like that in front of others, but Jefferson had clearly needed it too and he was still hurting too much to care. He believed Jefferson would do anything in his power to stay and that's what made it so hard. He wished he could let himself be reassured. He was calmer now, blinking back a few stray tears and standing there quietly.

It felt okay to be quiet. Finally, he added, almost ashamed:]

I almost did something really stupid. It might have been pointless, I might have-- I would have died or something similar if I had gone through with it, but it was a goal. It was a way to stay focused. Now I--I don't know. I don't want to go anywhere; what did you and Dave name your cat?

[ He could tell that Jaune was trying to make the situation a little less tense, so he responded simply by teasingly ruffling the boy's hair a bit. Things weren't okay just yet, but that was something he was willing to wait for. There really wasn't such a thing as completely okay, but if Jaune could get a little closer to that point it would be a pretty good start. Jefferson was fine with the silence lasting as long as it felt right, but the eventual admission brought a particularly thoughtful look to his face. There was his usual concern mixed in, but more than anything else his expression held a firm resolve. ]

We'll find a new goal then. Just not right now.

[ And that was all he was going to say on the subject. Unpleasant things came up with Dave often enough that he knew what was appropriate to delve into and what was best left unspoken unless the other person wanted to pursue it. His visage turned softer when asked about the cat. That was technically the point of this visit, wasn't it? ]

His name is Kitkat. I didn't have anything to do with choosing it. It was all Dave.

[Normally, he might have objected, made a displeased face, smacked his hand away--something to show he was trying to act like the tough 18 year old he wanted to be seen as. Instead, he just blinked, stunned Jefferson had decided to do that.]

Yeah. Not now.

[Jaune hadn't been okay for a while, but he had started trying again. Now, he didn't think he could even attempt that. People were worried about him and wanted him to be okay, but how could he be okay when he was struggling with the most basic tasks and interactions? Just allowing himself to care was a challenge. Right now, it was the only one he was willing to face. He didn't want to do anything else.

There was no change in his demeanor, but seeing Jefferson looking so fond over the cat made him feel a hint of warmth. It was nice to witness.]

I'm a hundred and five point seven certain that Dave could name anything.

[ Honestly, he was glad Jaune didn't put up a fuss. The kid may as well realize then and there that Jefferson didn't hesitate on showing affection in a variety of ways. Including possibly annoying ways.

He couldn't know what Jaune was thinking, but he did know that what he was facing wasn't in any way simple or easy to brush out of the way. Moving forward when losing love is the most harsh challenge any person could face. Most people didn't manage it, either. There was always a part of you looking back. All he could do was to continue to hope that Jaune would find the right path and do what he could to stay by his side on the way. ]

Probably so. [ He only realized that he and Jaune were still holding onto one another when he attempted to turn to look for the little black bundle of energy. ] You did want to see him, right? Unless standing here like this was your actual plan. [ There was just a small teasing air to his voice. ]

Uhm. Yeah. I don't have a plan. [His words were awkward, lacking in emotion. He didn't really want to pull away, but Jefferson was right. He couldn't just stand there indefinitely.]

I want to see him. Go ahead. [Go ahead and pull away, Jefferson. He wasn't being clingy or anything. He found that his arms were unwilling to move, seemingly locked where they were, but he scanned the room anyway for any other sign of movement.

My plan only got as far as if you like cats or not. [ He looked a little sheepish for admitting as much, but there was still a slight upward curve to his lips. ] Good thing I knew you'd say yes.

[ He regarded Jaune for a moment longer. It would be more or less impossible not to notice how he hadn't made a move yet. Did he want Jefferson to take the first step away or did he want him to stay where they were a little longer? Maybe it was both or neither. He did keep saying he didn't know. Compromise, then.

Jefferson did move, but just to Jaune's side. He still had one hand on his arm when he called for the kitten. Just once was all it took for the little guy to bound out of the room he'd been in and come running as fast as his tiny legs would go. He stopped a foot or so short, wide eyes looking from Jefferson and then to Jaune and back to Jefferson again. ]

Come here, Kitkat. [ He didn't have much of a choice since Jefferson was easily able to pick him up with just one hand. There was a little mreow in protest, but once he was situated in the crook of Jefferson's arm his attention went back to the stranger in the house. ]

Kit, this is Jaune. He's family too. Give him a chance, huh? [ He winked at the cat as if they'd just shared some kind of hidden message before propping him up a little higher. The kitten still looked curious but not so apprehensive. ] Jaune, say hi.

Is it a plan if you know exactly how it's going to turn out? It sounds more like a decision to me. [He might have been teasing him. His inflection didn't change much. Either way, he was grateful for his plan.]

[He found himself starting to tense involuntarily as Jefferson withdrew from the hug. He held his breath and only found himself able to think again when he stopped at his side. It was okay.

It was okay.

Something like a delighted gasp escaped his lips when he saw the tiny fluffy furball. He had a ghost of a smile and he waited patiently for Jefferson to encourage him, covering his face with his free hand when he heard their conversation.]

Hi Kitkat.

[To be honest, he was probably more nervous than the cat. He wanted him to like him. He wanted to do this right. Keeping his eyes a few inches past Kitkat, he extended his index finger within scent-distance for him to investigate him if he wanted to.]

I guess the plan was to make a decision. Or I made the decision to make a plan. Something like that.

[ He took it as permission to tease back. If Jaune had wanted to keep things completely serious they would still be that way. The tension in the boy had Jefferson reassuringly rubbing his arm for a few moments but he wasn't going to make a big deal of it. Admittedly, he was glad that the small animal had seemed to have drawn his thoughts away from unpleasant things for the time being.

Kitkat only looked at the stranger's finger at first, but after some seconds he reached forward with his paw and pulled it forward. After only the briefest moment of investigation he decided that Jaune's finger looked like an excellent thing to chew on. ]

Are you sure you know your plan? [There was an uncertainty in his voice that indicated he was finally teasing him back. His hand grounded him, but he was relieved Jefferson didn't point it out. It would have been more embarrassing if he had pointed it out. He waited patiently and let Kitkat do his thing until he took his finger captive.]

Ow. [It didn't hurt at all. He took it as permission to pet him, waiting until Kitkat was done to do so.]

Edited 2016-10-11 08:30 (UTC)

It worked, didn't it? [ The pointed look he gave Jaune then was, of course, all in jest. He didn't get the chance to say anything further before Kitkat simultaneously decided that chewing fingers was boring and that he'd much rather squirm from Jefferson's grip and attempt to climb on Jaune. New friend meant new places to sit. Jefferson freely let him go, chuckling just a bit as he did. ] I think he likes you.

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