aurabble | IC Inbox ☽☽ genessia

IC Inbox ☽☽ genessia

"Hi, Jaune Arc here! ...Except that, I'm actually not here right now. Or maybe I am and I just re-discovered decent comic books but I mean, I'm probably not ignoring you. So leave me a message. Unless you were trying to call someone else. Then you should call them. Smiley face."

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[It takes him some time to respond. He's upset and hurt, so he has to think about wording it in a way that won't also hurt her more.]

It wasn't that I didn't tell you because I didn't care, or because I thought it was funny and I wanted to lead you along. I didn't tell you because it was too painful to talk about. I'm sick of losing people, and seeing Cinder was just another reminder of that. Maybe I was being selfish. I'm sorry about that. I wanted to tell you eventually. Guess I was too late.

I thought about not going back. Maybe I won't, I don't know. We're here now. But you can't just message me like that and tell me that I'm not allowed to text you back after saying all of that. You've been harder than usual to talk to, and that was way before you ever went to the Dream Docks, so if something's wrong, I'm here, but I can't force you to accept that if you just keep pushing me away and blaming everyone else because your life sucks like the rest of ours do.

If it makes any difference, I don't think you died. Something happened and when it was over you, Mercury and Hazel were gone. I doubt they would have bothered to drag a corpse with them.

[ She doesn't text him back for a few days. She's still mad at him, and Emerald does better at talking when she's... well, had time to calm down instead of just get angrier and angrier. She's not great at dealing with people, and is one of those people who need space or else she just.. implodes, really. ]

everything's wrong and everything is always wrong jaune. it doesn't change. you're sick of losing people. great. cinder and mercury are the only ones i've ever had to lose, jaune. maybe i'm not easy to talk to but i have ever right to be mad you didn't tell me i was going to lose the only person to ever look at me and see worth back home.

[ But it does.. help that they didn't just leave her. And hurts, because Mercury is probably the reason they didn't leave her, and he's gone now. ]

when i showed all of you salem, i don't know if i'll wake up from that. two people at once is already pushing it. there were nine of you. i don't think merc knows what's going to happen to me any more than i do but

thanks for telling me they didn't leave me

i'm not saying you should be mad. i'm just

i don't know

i'm sorry

things are different back there than they are here. i don't know what's going to happen to anyone there but i think you're worth something

are they that different?

jaune, what do you think is going to happen if cinder shows up here now? or if mercury shows up again and it's not City Guardian Mercury it's just mercury?

[ She doesn't really know anymore. ]

i don't know.

i don't know what would happen, but you can choose. you're not completely powerless in this situation. you can do what you want to here

I've killed people for disloyalty before, Jaune. Not because I was asked to. I stole the job from Torchwick. I thought the person deserved it.

Did they, Emerald? Does Cinder deserve your loyalty? Mercury I kind of understand, he actually cares. You don't have to keep doing this.

Do you remember that weird week a while ago, where our positions were changed? You worked for Salem, I was some homeless girl no one gave a damn about?

I remember. I also remember murdering people for someone who doesn't give a damn about either of us.

Yeah, that version of me had memories of getting hunted down by Mercury and inevitably getting killed by a Grimm in the Fall of Beacon after living a miserable life, alone and starving more often than not.

The only difference is that I said no to Cinder and ran. Whether I do right or wrong doesn't make a difference. But Cinder's the reason I have everything I do have now. She's the first person to ever look at me as something other than a nuisance, and the only person to see value in me.

Maybe she's a monster, but Cinder's the only reason I even have a place in the world. This or any other. That week was just a reminder that I could've said no and it would've been the biggest mistake of my life, no matter where I am now.

Maybe Cinder's the reason you had a place at first, but she doesn't have to be here. You know how you got mad because I didn't want to tell you what happened? I didn't want to hurt you. I know I still did, but...

You matter. You matter to me.

Most people here all seem to be central to some kind of intense story from their worlds. I've yet to meet someone whose grandest adventure was a trip to the supermarket across town instead of the one at their street corner. I don't think I would've even ended up here if she didn't take an interest in me. I probably wouldn't have met you back home, definitely not here. I don't have a story without her, Jaune. Without her, I just... no matter how hard I try, it doesn't amount to anything. It never does. Even Mercury was barely able to convince me I wasn't a burden. I'm still not sure I bought it even from him, since I know what he thinks when he's drunk.

I know I matter to you, and Mercury, and Cassian. I'm not sure if it's better or worse, having people who care for me but knowing all I'm going to do is disappoint you.

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IC Inbox ☽☽ genessia

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