aurabble | IC Inbox ☽☽ genessia

Yeah. I'm good. Just- I don't know. You ever think something's going to happen even when you know it's not? Is that too deep for right now? Probably, yeah? Never mind.

[ he shrugs to dismiss it and adjusts the sunglasses he just put on his face while jaune crawls on his floor. good thing that's a soft rug. ] What? You need him? I had him on me. He was taking one hell of a nap. [ reaches behind him and pulls a cat out of his hood, which immediately just starts purring because he was picked up and continues to do so while dave was putting him on the floor. good cat. best friend.

so the cat sits there, yawning once then looking at jaune for calling him. ]

Shady stuff. [ a single little breathless laugh. turning his chair back and forth with his feet and watching jaune ] Why would I sing to them? They ain't gonna do my laundry if I do.

No. It's not too deep. [...] Is this about before? Or something else?

I didn't see him. [he just stares, stunned when he pulls kitkat the cat out of his hood.] How long was he in there?!

Oh. [cat. he reaches forward to try and pet said cat. trying to be slow even if his aim is way off.]

You'll never know unless you try it. Some birds are smart.

Before? Oh. No. Not really. Just me being a fucking nervous fuck about nothing.

[ glances at the floor then looks back at jaune, giving an intentionally smug little look ] What? The whole time. He's always in there.

[ jaune's aim is off but that will not stop kit from being pet. he moves in the direction of the hand and rubs against it. pet pet. ]

Dude. I know they're smart. They don't want me to sing at them. They're just here to chill.

It's not nothing when it's you. Are you still nervous? I know something that can help.

[his worldview just shifted in one second.] No wonder you never wear your hood.

I dunno. It's not that I think you're wrong, but I think you're wrong. Crows love to sing.

Edited 2017-01-16 10:47 (UTC)

Around you or in general? Not really... What can help?

[ puts his hood up because the cat isn't in it anymore and jaune mentioned it ] It's mostly because I have gorgeous hair I don't wanna mess up. [ that's not it. ]

Wow. Okay so I'm not wrong but totally wrong. They might but, like, they don't wanna sing with me. You're just trying to get me to sing right now.

...Around me, I guess. Brownies.

[let him love you kitkat.] You do have nice hair.

No offense or anything. Are you accusing me of trying to get you to sing by using subtle manipulation?

Nah. I just - Okay. No repeating this. Don't make it a big deal. But I had this weird thought you were randomly going to slap me across the face? Like. I know you wouldn't. ...Brownies? Okay do you mean brownie-brownies or- [ quotation fingers ] 'special brownies'?

[ kitkat is now sitting on jaune's foot. ] Thanks.

Yes.

[he just stares at dave, completely crushed, sucking in a breath and staring down at his hands.] Wh-- Did I do something wrong...? Special brownies. They taste even better than regular brownies.

[giggles a little, covering his mouth and stares down at kitkat, carefully moving to pet his side.] We all should be thanking you. Dave Strider.

I'm just saying, I can use my guitar.

[ frowning. holds his hands up. ] No, no no. Jaune, you did nothing wrong. Some kind of 'pussy out' reflex. It's stupid. [ ... ] Are you saying we should get high?

[ with the petting, kitkat spreads out and lays across his foot ] For my gorgeous hair. I'm art, yes. You're welcome.

Okay. If you play guitar, we'll make a jam. [ siiiighs ]

...Why do you always say that? [frowns sadly.] I don't thing heights would be a good idea right now but yeah sure.

My mom says that my art doesn't have to be good to make someone emotional. [he makes a delighted sound and keeps petting him softly.]

Wow, are you serious?

Say what? [ neutral look. line face. ] L-m-a-o. Heights. Where the shit you gonna get pot brownies, Jaune?

Your mom's pretty hot. I mean deep. Pretty deep, huh? I ain't even seen your mom. Not that I'm saying she wouldn't be hot. She would because you're pretty hot and that's how genetics work and I'm saying shit again. [ clears throat ] Anyways.

Yeah, man. It's happening.

Say that it's stupid, or no big deal, or don't worry about it. It's not stupid when it's you. It's not stupid when it's most people, but can you honestly say that I'm going to laugh at you or tell you it doesn't matter when it does? [eyes downcast.] What about them? I could try to bake them. Hopefully the kitchen will remain intact in the process.

[he just looks up, staring at him incredulously.] I-- I don't know? Dude, she's my mom. I mean she's nice and really smart and I'd braid her hair and we'd all have a hair braiding party until I decided other hairstyles were way cooler.

[his eyes just light up like all of his dreams came true and gently holding kitkat he starts to look around.] ...My guitar's probably not in your room, is it?

[ he presses his lips together tightly, that thin line. he goes stiff in his posture. ] Why would that matter though? [ turns his head to the side, thinking ] Dude, you're the one that brought them up. I think that might actually get us in some kind of legit trouble for once if we started cooking the good kush in fucking baked goods in the kitchen.

[ turns his head back towards him ] A hair-braiding party? What the fuck other hairstyle is cooler?

Nah. I think Jeff's is in the hall though.

Because-- [he stops. he almost raised his voice. he looks to the side, regaining his composure. the last thing dave needs is for him to sound upset, even if it's out of concern and not anger. he only makes a second attempt once he calms down a little.] Because you matter. You deserve to feel safe, not scared, and it's not pussying out and I know that's easier said than done and you can't just turn off a switch and make it better, maybe it's not specifically toward me, but... I'm just-- sorry. I'll try not to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. [raises his eyebrows.] Huh? Why? How come you know more about pot than me?

[somewhat smug grin.] A warrior's wolf tail. Right Kitkat?

[nodding, he looks back outside in the hall to grab the guitar.]

[ dave's frowning again. jaune's being really concerned about him. dave is a little confused about it. he makes a face, more at himself than anything else. one of discomfort. ] Is uh... unprompted flinching a big deal? You're making me think this is a serious thing now. [ shrugging ] Rap. I've been educated.

[ there's a drawn out meow from kitkat in response. dave raises an eyebrow ] A what?

Guess we're doing this fucking now then, huh?

[jaune isn't staring at him in sympathy. it's more like he's concerned, and almost empathetic but not quite.] Maybe we should sit down. The pot brownies can wait.

You know, it's a... [he makes a sweeping gesture at his hair.] It's where you pull the top layers back and leave the rest down or short so you look like a warrior. A warrior's wolf tail. [nods at kitkat in understanding.]

Did you think we were going to wait?

Edited 2017-02-19 00:46 (UTC)

[ he's blankly looking at him for a long moment, then shrugs. ] Okay. I'm, like, already sitting. Do we need to have me sit down better? Is there a proper method of sitting for this serious talk? Wait, shit. I should do the Karkat deep concern sit. [ he gets up, turns the chair around and sits in it backwards ] ...Okay. This isn't going to work as smoothly. The back of the chair is taller than where my head is. He'd be all leaning an arm on the top of this with his head propped up. You get the visual. Let's pretend I'm all sat down like that for this serious discussion. [ gets up and sits in in normally. sort of. after a second he crosses his legs on the chair and leans on his knees, holding his head up ] 'Aight. I got a compromised version.

What like when assholes have a mohawk but instead of actually committing to sticking it up they pussy out and tie it back?

Maybe. Apparently pot brownies can wait but we just can't stop the music, can we?

I-- [nevermind he's already doing it. jaune kind of rolls his eyes. he wants to tell dave to stop stalling, but he stops himself and waits until he's done and sits back on the floor with kitkat.] Okay. Uhm. [wow his sock sure is getting worn he probably needs new socks damn these socks are fascinating.] Bro, you know I'm only saying this because I care. Sometimes I feel like...when we go through certain things, especially when we do over and over, we have to-- I don't know. We have to find ways to deal with it because if we don't we don't know if we'll ever be normal again. But things aren't ever exactly normal after that. It's still there. So, I just, if I can do anything to help, I want to.

[he grimaces.] No, that's a completely different concept. I've never had a mohawk.

I guess we can put it off for five minutes...

[ dave sits there, facing him straight on. attentive but his head dips a little and it could be easily to think he's following the cat with his eyes instead. it's hard to tell but he's still looking at jaune. the hand not being used to hold his head up is gripping part of the chair. ] Uh. Okay? Are you saying I'm broken or something? Way to just call me abnormal. Great talk. I appreciate the help offer.

[ distraction and better topic: mohawks and music. ] I can't really picture you with one.

Or not. Play me a beat.

[his head snaps up and before he can stop himself, his eyes are already round in fear. what did he say wrong? was it normal? was it something else? his words come out a rushed jumble to try and fix the mess he made. it's always a mess.

all he ever does is screw up.] That's not what I--

[he's not really listening, running a hand through his hair in agitation.] Damnit Dave, I don't know what to say! You know that's not what I meant. You asked me if it was a big deal, it is, but not in the way you think and I don't want you to feel bad and push me away for it but you're doing that anyway and I--

[he just...stares vacantly past dave for a moment, almost like he's staring through him. his expression seems to shut down and his voice goes dull and defeated, with no inflection.] Ignore everything I said. I screwed up. I was being stupid.

[ he picks his head up slowly and sits up again, hands holding the edge of the chair. ]

Dude. Sorry if I'm not getting it. I've never had an intervention before. [ it's an intentionally casual tone that doesn't sound as apologetic as he is for making Jaune feel bad about this. if it's dismissive, they can move on right? no. that's not what's happening.

jaune's looking through him and it's blank. that unreadable blankness. dull tone's with no inflection and something he can't pick an emotion out of. it makes him want to crawl in a hole and puts everything on edge the longer he does it. ]

Oohhhh. I fucked up. I fucked this up. You're saying you fucked up but you just went- [ waves one of his hands in front of his own face ] I am not dealing with that shit again. Okay. No. Lay it on me. I'm listening. I'll stop brushing it off. It's not stupid I'm just being a fucking dick because I don't want to talk about deep seated issues and holy shit can you at least frown at me?

[he's not leaving.

dave's rambling nervously and jaune feels like he's watching somewhere he's detached from the scene, but dave isn't leaving. despite how many time jaune's screwed up and how much right dave has to leave, he's still there.

his response is a little delayed because all he can think of is that some of his worst fears aren't repeating right now and despite the fact that dave deserves better and people who understand and don't make him feel like shit he's still trying. he doesn't have to shut down. is he closing off to protect everyone else or just himself?]

I don't-- I'm not sure I know what you mean.

[he's looking at him now. he's being careful and hesitant with his wording, but there's emotion, even if it's fear.]

I need like some kind of repertoire here. I don't know where you went just now and you're freaking me the fuck out. And uh- like okay I guess what the issue is you're trying to address is that I have subconsciously prepped myself to be ready to take a fucking hit at any given point in time from anyone and I know that's all kinds of fucked up and -- Are you still? And uh- [ jaune's zoning out on him so dave keeps going. that rambling he does but it's clearly on edge now. increasingly nervous and he's looking at jaune and then looking everywhere but at jaune.

then looking back and looking away like he can't keep his eyes on someone that's looking so ...detached. jaune speaks up and he shuts his mouth and puts on an impassive look, trying to pretend. ]

Dude. Are you okay?

[he purses his lips, a frown beginning to linger the more nervous dave gets. he doesn't understand why dave is so disturbed, only that he is, but that doesn't stand out so much to him as the fact that he's used to being hit. and then dave just shuts down before he can even register what he just admitted. his mind is racing and he feels like everything just got too tangible at once. his reply comes out more harsh than he intended.]

Don't worry about me. Wait. Hang on. Are you basically saying you're constantly on edge so that if you do get hurt it can't catch you off guard?

I'm going to worry about you. You just clocked the fuck out on me, pun not intended and- ...What? No. I- [ he looks alarmed jaune's asking that. and a little alarmed he implied it. and that's it's probably a true statement. layers of alarmed. ] Maybe.

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