[Her expression softens, but she looks away from him as well.]
Thank you. Your kindness means much to me... But it doesn't matter. What I did isn't something that can be forgiven. And because of that, Abe's words are how I am remembered. My legend is that of a monster who betrayed one who loved her.
[She goes quiet for a moment, before sighing.]
We Heroic Spirits are shaped by the legends told of us, you know? It's not impossible for me to become the legend told about me.
[Were people capable of such cruelty worth protecting and fighting for? Jaune's aware individuals can do terrible things, but those numbers are overwhelming. He doesn't know what to think anymore, but something stands out to him.]
That's not true. My history professor doctor always said that history is up to the victors or whatever. They don't know who you really are. Only you do.
They attacked me, and in my rage, I killed all of them. Eighty thousand lives, Jaune. Is such a genocide something that can be forgiven?
[She shakes her head.]
Your professor is a wise man. But it isn't so simple for we Heroic Spirits. Gods and spirits are shaped by the legends told of us. What people think we are shapes us as much as what we actually are. If it is believed a kind man was a bloodthirsty vampire, then when his soul is summoned, that man will be twisted into the insane vampire he is believed to be.
... I was fortunate. Hakuno is such a kind and wonderful person that she was able to summon the true me, the Tamamo who lived. But a Master less kind might summon the me of legends... One of Japan's Three Great Monsters. So twisted by my legend, and given power by the thousands of years of legend forced upon me, I would be a disaster unlike any other. A monster with the power of the sun, of life and death, with a fate to kill a hundred heroes before being slain.
I don't know. They were attacking you, and they went in knowing some of the would get hurt. So I don't know. I don't know which is the right answer in any of it.
Is that how you met her? [This is all a lot to hear at once. He knows she loves Hakuno, so maybe talking about someone who makes her happy will help a little.]
Did you have a choice to be a Heroic Spirit? [It doesn't sound like the kind of existence he could imagine anyone wanting to have. But maybe it was her best option.]
Yes. I won't give the full details, but she was in danger, so I responded to her desire to live... It was love at first sight. ♥
[He's actually dead-on there, and she perks up considerably.]
I did. I could have kept all of my tails and been a Divine Spirit, but I cut off eight of them, intentionally lowering myself to a Heroic Spirit and limiting myself to those powers, so that I could serve someone once more. Even now, my wish is to be a good wife.
I'm glad you found someone. [What happened was tragic. He can't pretend to understand how she feels and he doesn't know if time makes it easier. He isn't going to invalidate her experiences by trying to be optimistic.
But he is glad she has someone, and that it's healthy. She deserves that.]
Yes. No matter how many tries it takes, even if the Moon, the Earth, and fate itself are all against me, we will have a happy ending!
[She's just. Not going to talk about her first Master. Or that Hakuno here doesn't remember her except as an enemy. Jaune's had enough of her trauma for the night.]
But here I am, going on and on... But, what about you? Is there anyone you have your eye on? A charming singer, or perhaps a gorgeous red-haired girl? Surely a guy like you must have someone you're interested in.
[Screw destiny. Jaune bites his lip, not saying anything for a while. He was happy to have Pyrrha here. He still is, he's just more afraid of losing her. After his argument with Weiss, that night keeps replaying in his head, more than usual. He grips the sides of the bench to give him something solid to feel.]
Tamamo. I need to ask you something. It's about what Weiss said during the camping trip.
The first: If I were to regain my full powers as a goddess, reviving the dead would be no problem. But to regrow eight tails... Around ten thousand years should be enough?
Second, if you can somehow obtain and control Crepe's power. Use the doors, and send her home from here to a point after her death in your world. Make it so she wasn't there to be killed, basically.
[Here is where she looks away, not wanting to meet Jaune's eyes.]
Third... The Holy Grail War. Enter into a tournament and win through it, killing your seven enemies with your own hands, and obtain the all-powerful machine that can grant your wish. Of course, losing would kill you, as well... And worse. Your soul itself is deleted, never moving on.
Fourth, for Weiss to kill her and summon her. She could become an existence like myself, a summoned Servant, a spirit called to serve.
... Fifth, to kill Crepe. Without her, her power goes away. Without her power, no one here may ever go home... And that means Pyrrha will never return to be killed. You can have a life here, free of that danger.
[He leans forward, processing this information. She's right. None of the options sound particularly promising, but...]
I don't have ten thousand years. Pyrrha would never forgive me, or herself if I killed someone like Crepe for her. She's just some innocent person and it's thanks to her we're here. I couldn't.
... I'm not sure if you can. I don't know if your world has anything like the Moon Cell, after all. If this world has one, I have yet to find it.
You send your soul into the Moon Cell computer, and undergo the preliminaries, where those who fail are deleted. Those who succeed fight in a seven-week tournament, where the losers are deleted. You understand this, don't you? You will have to kill seven people, or be killed yourself.
...I know. But they all enter voluntarily, don't they? If we're all aware of the risks, then we have our own reasons for fighting.
[His voice is soft, lacking inflection, but there's a surge of emotion as he stands up to give himself some space.]
You don't get it. What happened that night could have been avoided, it shouldn't have happened. But it did. And then we ended up here, where things are safer and where we don't have to live in fear. I won't waste this chance, even if I have to be the enemy, even if Weiss ends up hating me and Pyrrha doesn't like it. We're finally together. Someone has to make sure it stays that way.
So she just lightly hops up so she's standing on the bench, and chops him right on the head. It's not enough to injure, but it should definitely get his attention.]
You don't like the ending written for her, so you seek to change it with the Holy Grail. There were many wishes like that.
But if you do that, what is the point? Can you say you'll be happy with that kind of conclusion? Your friends hating you, Pyrrha not liking it- Perhaps she would rather have been dead than to see you have blood on your hands like that? Will you not consider her feelings about this at all?
Yeah, I will be happy! I'll be happier than I've been in months, because Pyrrha will be alive and safe, just like my other friends, and that's all that matters. When I--
[Found out she died. He still can't say that word...]
When she didn't come back, a part of me died. It's gone. I didn't get a choice. Pyrrha didn't give me one, when she shoved me into that locker. [His expression twists into an angry grimace, his words getting faster and more heated as he speaks.] I don't blame her for what she did anymore, but it's not fair or right to expect me to just stand back and do nothing now that you're telling me there might be a way to fix it when I didn't get to before.
I already have blood on my hands. I can't go through that again.
Then what does it matter who it is that you kill? Why is it better to kill seven in a war in another world for a slight chance, than to kill one here for a guarantee?
My own Master didn't know how she ended up in the War. The first enemy we killed was an eight-year-old boy who believed the War was just a game, and didn't understand he would truly be killed when he lost. But we could not hold back, as losing would have been the end for us. Our second was an old man whose only wish was to see his wife once more. Then the ghost of a child who didn't understand the War, who had died long ago but wished to play longer. Those who genuinely believed their wishes would save the world, those who wished to change the past, those who fought for love, those who fought with no intention to win, but to clear out enemies- To clear a path for another victor, and obediently kill themselves when the time came.
[She sounds actually rather mad about this.]
Could you do that? Could you kill them, as sure as if it was with your own sword?
[He looks increasingly more horrified as she goes on. His hands are shaking and even though they're in an open space, everything feels too small.]
I don't...
[His throat tightens. His limbs feel numb. He manages to answer, but it's more of a scream.]
I don't know!
I don't know if I could kill seven innocent people. Is that what you want me to say? That I'd rather let Pyrrha stay--
[Violently, he presses his palm to his eye, turning away from Caster. It should have been him. None of the choices Caster gave him were really options and he feels like he's losing Pyrrha all over again.]
What good are those options if you're just going to argue about them and tell me I'm wrong?
[She takes a sharp breath, realizing what she'd just admitted to.]
... I should not have said that. But please don't think ill of her. That was the Holy Grail War, and it was that boy at fault for believing he was above the rules. As soon as he entered the Moon Cell, it was an inescapable fate.
Rather than seeking quests that you cannot ever be happy with, cherish the time you have with her here. Pursue her, if you wish. Make her happy. If a bad ending can't be avoided, then simply live as happily as you can until then.
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Thank you. Your kindness means much to me... But it doesn't matter. What I did isn't something that can be forgiven. And because of that, Abe's words are how I am remembered. My legend is that of a monster who betrayed one who loved her.
[She goes quiet for a moment, before sighing.]
We Heroic Spirits are shaped by the legends told of us, you know? It's not impossible for me to become the legend told about me.
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[Were people capable of such cruelty worth protecting and fighting for? Jaune's aware individuals can do terrible things, but those numbers are overwhelming. He doesn't know what to think anymore, but something stands out to him.]
That's not true. My history professor doctor always said that history is up to the victors or whatever. They don't know who you really are. Only you do.
no subject
[She shakes her head.]
Your professor is a wise man. But it isn't so simple for we Heroic Spirits. Gods and spirits are shaped by the legends told of us. What people think we are shapes us as much as what we actually are. If it is believed a kind man was a bloodthirsty vampire, then when his soul is summoned, that man will be twisted into the insane vampire he is believed to be.
... I was fortunate. Hakuno is such a kind and wonderful person that she was able to summon the true me, the Tamamo who lived. But a Master less kind might summon the me of legends... One of Japan's Three Great Monsters. So twisted by my legend, and given power by the thousands of years of legend forced upon me, I would be a disaster unlike any other. A monster with the power of the sun, of life and death, with a fate to kill a hundred heroes before being slain.
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Is that how you met her? [This is all a lot to hear at once. He knows she loves Hakuno, so maybe talking about someone who makes her happy will help a little.]
Did you have a choice to be a Heroic Spirit? [It doesn't sound like the kind of existence he could imagine anyone wanting to have. But maybe it was her best option.]
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[He's actually dead-on there, and she perks up considerably.]
I did. I could have kept all of my tails and been a Divine Spirit, but I cut off eight of them, intentionally lowering myself to a Heroic Spirit and limiting myself to those powers, so that I could serve someone once more. Even now, my wish is to be a good wife.
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I'm glad you found someone. [What happened was tragic. He can't pretend to understand how she feels and he doesn't know if time makes it easier. He isn't going to invalidate her experiences by trying to be optimistic.
But he is glad she has someone, and that it's healthy. She deserves that.]
I'm sure you can.
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Yes. No matter how many tries it takes, even if the Moon, the Earth, and fate itself are all against me, we will have a happy ending!
[She's just. Not going to talk about her first Master. Or that Hakuno here doesn't remember her except as an enemy. Jaune's had enough of her trauma for the night.]
But here I am, going on and on... But, what about you? Is there anyone you have your eye on? A charming singer, or perhaps a gorgeous red-haired girl? Surely a guy like you must have someone you're interested in.
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[Screw destiny. Jaune bites his lip, not saying anything for a while. He was happy to have Pyrrha here. He still is, he's just more afraid of losing her. After his argument with Weiss, that night keeps replaying in his head, more than usual. He grips the sides of the bench to give him something solid to feel.]
Tamamo. I need to ask you something. It's about what Weiss said during the camping trip.
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... Go on.
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Whatever Weiss thinks or says, I have to do this for Pyrrha. I already failed her. I can't risk it if there's a way.
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But you won't like any of them.
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Second, if you can somehow obtain and control Crepe's power. Use the doors, and send her home from here to a point after her death in your world. Make it so she wasn't there to be killed, basically.
[Here is where she looks away, not wanting to meet Jaune's eyes.]
Third... The Holy Grail War. Enter into a tournament and win through it, killing your seven enemies with your own hands, and obtain the all-powerful machine that can grant your wish. Of course, losing would kill you, as well... And worse. Your soul itself is deleted, never moving on.
Fourth, for Weiss to kill her and summon her. She could become an existence like myself, a summoned Servant, a spirit called to serve.
... Fifth, to kill Crepe. Without her, her power goes away. Without her power, no one here may ever go home... And that means Pyrrha will never return to be killed. You can have a life here, free of that danger.
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I don't have ten thousand years. Pyrrha would never forgive me, or herself if I killed someone like Crepe for her. She's just some innocent person and it's thanks to her we're here. I couldn't.
How do I enter the Holy Grail War?
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You send your soul into the Moon Cell computer, and undergo the preliminaries, where those who fail are deleted. Those who succeed fight in a seven-week tournament, where the losers are deleted. You understand this, don't you? You will have to kill seven people, or be killed yourself.
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[His voice is soft, lacking inflection, but there's a surge of emotion as he stands up to give himself some space.]
You don't get it. What happened that night could have been avoided, it shouldn't have happened. But it did. And then we ended up here, where things are safer and where we don't have to live in fear. I won't waste this chance, even if I have to be the enemy, even if Weiss ends up hating me and Pyrrha doesn't like it. We're finally together. Someone has to make sure it stays that way.
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Jaune, please come here for a moment?
[She stands up as well.]
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[Eyeing her cautiously, he approaches her.]
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So she just lightly hops up so she's standing on the bench, and chops him right on the head. It's not enough to injure, but it should definitely get his attention.]
Don't be an idiot.
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What--? Why did you do that!?
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But if you do that, what is the point? Can you say you'll be happy with that kind of conclusion? Your friends hating you, Pyrrha not liking it- Perhaps she would rather have been dead than to see you have blood on your hands like that? Will you not consider her feelings about this at all?
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[Found out she died. He still can't say that word...]
When she didn't come back, a part of me died. It's gone. I didn't get a choice. Pyrrha didn't give me one, when she shoved me into that locker. [His expression twists into an angry grimace, his words getting faster and more heated as he speaks.] I don't blame her for what she did anymore, but it's not fair or right to expect me to just stand back and do nothing now that you're telling me there might be a way to fix it when I didn't get to before.
I already have blood on my hands. I can't go through that again.
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My own Master didn't know how she ended up in the War. The first enemy we killed was an eight-year-old boy who believed the War was just a game, and didn't understand he would truly be killed when he lost. But we could not hold back, as losing would have been the end for us. Our second was an old man whose only wish was to see his wife once more. Then the ghost of a child who didn't understand the War, who had died long ago but wished to play longer. Those who genuinely believed their wishes would save the world, those who wished to change the past, those who fought for love, those who fought with no intention to win, but to clear out enemies- To clear a path for another victor, and obediently kill themselves when the time came.
[She sounds actually rather mad about this.]
Could you do that? Could you kill them, as sure as if it was with your own sword?
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[He looks increasingly more horrified as she goes on. His hands are shaking and even though they're in an open space, everything feels too small.]
I don't...
[His throat tightens. His limbs feel numb. He manages to answer, but it's more of a scream.]
I don't know!
I don't know if I could kill seven innocent people. Is that what you want me to say? That I'd rather let Pyrrha stay--
[Violently, he presses his palm to his eye, turning away from Caster. It should have been him. None of the choices Caster gave him were really options and he feels like he's losing Pyrrha all over again.]
What good are those options if you're just going to argue about them and tell me I'm wrong?
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... I should not have said that. But please don't think ill of her. That was the Holy Grail War, and it was that boy at fault for believing he was above the rules. As soon as he entered the Moon Cell, it was an inescapable fate.
Rather than seeking quests that you cannot ever be happy with, cherish the time you have with her here. Pursue her, if you wish. Make her happy. If a bad ending can't be avoided, then simply live as happily as you can until then.
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